Are You A Good Friend?

It can be a daunting task to stay on top of everyday tasks, your career or job, raising kids, self care, family issues and concerns, traveling, being a married person and taking care of your home. Then you thrown in friendship and you can be overwhelmed. I was watching a reality show called Married To Medicine and it made me question how I, as a friend, should act. After some research and reactions to some of the cast members on the show I came up with 8 things you should ask yourself to determine if you're a good friend. Are you a good friend?

1) Do you spend time talking negative or positive about your friends?

So here's the thing. If you spend time talking negative about your friend you shouldn't consider yourself a good friend. Even if it is something you think your friend would benefit from. You should go directly to your friend to discuss any negative thought you feel so they can be corrected. A good friend doesn't spend time talking negative about their friends. If you talk positive about your friends to others, you should consider yourself a good friend.

2) Do you tell your friends directly when something is bothering you?

If you can tell your friends directly when something is bothering you AND you do it in an un-hurtful way, you should consider yourself a good friend. Anyone can yell, scream and curse someone out, but if you can control your anger or feelings when something is bothering you, and go directly to the source instead of telling everyone around you, that is powerful and purposeful.

3) Do you put on a show in front of other people to chastise your friends?

Many people joke about a friends mishaps and think things are funny that may not be for your friend, for example; you go to a party with mutual friends and mention that your friend broke up with their mate because they cheated on them. That can be hurtful to the friend. Even if it is a joke or you said it jokingly. Another example of this is telling your friends in public how you feel about something they did wrong. There is a time and place for everything and a good friend wouldn't chastise a friend in front of other friends or family.

4) Do you take time out of your schedule to spend quality time with your friends?

Everyone is busy. Time is money and money is time, however; making sure you spend time with your friends is essential to building the friendship. It doesn't have to be every month, but at least every other month. Try to take a break and catch up with each other over the phone, lunch, dinner, or just hanging at their house.

5) Do you think negatively or positively about your friends?

So this is an internal issue. If you think negatively of your friend even if you haven't said anything to anyone, you could show signs of that when being with them. They could say something and. you could roll your eyes or make a smart comment. No one else may realize you feel that way, but your actions show it. A real friend should think about what is negative and make those thoughts positive.

6) Do you take interest in things you may not be interested in, but your friends love to do?

You may not like to do something, but if you are always and only suggesting to do things that you like to do and your friend doesn't, then you may start to build a wedge in the relationship. It has to be 50/50. It's okay to suggest doing things you like, but if you do it all the time, think about your friend and do something they like to do every once in a while.

7) Have you ever lied to your friend to "save" their feelings?

Even if you were trying to protect them, it could come back to hurt you so honestly is the best policy. Especially, if they ask you for your opinion or advice. Be honest with them and yourself.

8) Do you check on your friend without needing something from them?

Sometimes a call from a friend just to see how they are doing is a stress reliever. They could be going through something and instead of you only calling when you have issues to get off your chest, call them and see if they are doing okay. They may not want to burden you if they feel you're really busy.

Real friends do things for each other and respect each other. In order to have good friends you have to be one. If you have not answered all 8 of these questions in a positive way you have to start asking yourself "am I a good friend"? Don't blame anything on anyone as to why you haven't been a good friend. Just start focusing on positivity and being the best friend you can be. If you've ever watched the show Married To Medicine you will see a world wind of dramatic reasons these ladies stay friends and become enemies. It lets you take a look at yourself and say what would I do if I had to handle that situation. So happy to share this with you loving folks. Keep loving & living.