Do I Stay Or Go?
- Stacy J
- Mar 30, 2021
- 3 min read
In some relationships everything isn't rose peddles and kisses. You wake up and find yourself asking the question, "do I stay or go". The truth is no one can answer that question but you. There are many reasons to stay and could be many reasons to go. The best thing to do is not ask others for the answer, but look deep inside to find the truth and answer your own question. Here are some questions to ask yourself when deciding.

1) Are you happy? This is the most important question because if you aren't happy maybe the other person isn't either and you're both afraid to say anything so you don't hurt the other person's feelings. If you are happy, but sometimes get frustrated ask yourself the next question.
2) Do you love them? You can be happy in the moment, but not be in love. If you're not in love you may find that you don't want to waste time in a relationship that isn't going to last. If you're in love and you're happy then ask yourself the next question.
3) Do you argue often? Many times you think you're happy and in love, but you're always arguing about something. Depending on what the arguments are about will determine if you can be happy long. If you're not arguing all the time - ask yourself the next question.
4) Are you in love with them? Having love for someone is different than being in love. You can love someone and wish for the best, but not be in love with them. Many couples confuse the two and that causes issues in a relationship. If you aren't in love with them ask yourself is it worth staying. If you're in love with them ask yourself the next question.
5) Can you see yourself with this person the next 5 years? There are a lot of reasons people stay together, finances, kids, comfort, family, friends, etc. If you look into the future of your life and you can't picture yourself with this person maybe you have some choices to make. If you do see yourself with this person ask yourself the next question.
6) Is this relationship toxic? Toxic could many many things, such as unhealthy, unsuccessful, uneventful, hurtful, stressful and overwhelming. If you find yourself in any of these situations you have to ask yourself if your life and health are worth staying. If your relationship isn't toxic then think about the overall objective of your relationship.

I am not a professional therapist or consultant, however; if you have to ask yourself do I stay or go, there is something in your mind that needs clarity. According to Gillespie Shields the main reason for divorce or break-ups in 2020 was commitment issues, unrealistic expectations and got together too young. All of these factors are common and do affect relationships. If you got with someone at 18 and you're now 40 and have grown then you could want different things. It isn't good or bad sometimes situations and people just change. The best thing to consider is the happiness you share and the relationship you've built.
Again, no one can answer the question to stay or go, but you. If you're not happy, they aren't happy or things have changed it's time to sit down and have a serious talk about the expectations and realization of the relationship. There is no right answer and feelings can change. Overall, talk to yourself before anyone else and ask yourself what is the best thing for you. So happy to share this with you loving folks. Keep loving & living.
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